Losing Someone I've Never Had
by Fae 206
Summary: After a disagreement with his fiancee, Kurt Hummel decides to take a ferry to get his mind off things, but when he wakes up as a fourteen year old in Lima, Ohio, things that were so certain haven't even begun yet. Will Kurt find a way to get home, or can he have the love of his life and his dreams in his life all over again. Klaine.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: **There is some sad stuff in this fic that I hope people will read and enjoy. I tend to see how fics perform on the first chapter before updating these days so any review would be treasured.

This will be following _Kurt's_ storyline

**Losing Someone I've Never Had**

**Chapter One****  
****Is this what you'd call a 'break'?**

He didn't know how late it was.

He didn't know how long he had been away from their apartment, and yet, somehow it seemed as if he had been away forever. Kurt took a deep breath as he saw the ferry lights loom above him and felt the cold snap of the wind against his body.

He hadn't meant what he had yelled at Blaine about wanting to take a break from their relationship, he really hadn't, but why was anger such an easy emotion for him to access? Why was he scared of being happy?

He could be very very happy with Blaine, a happiness that he really _really_ wanted, but why was he always challenging the world.

It wasn't courageous at all.

It was stupid.

There was a commotion as the ferry that he was riding seemed to go into the fog, but he ignored it. It was so much better for him if he were just to try to let his mind wander, let the thoughts of NYADA's new semester, or Isabelle's getting him to help out with some of the more editorial pages, or even Rachel's nightly phone call, wash over him and take him to a place of peace.

A place where he could put the fight on hold, just….for…..one….momen—-

—

"Kurt! You up!?" Burt Hummel yelled as he looked at the sports column in the newspaper, he had a plate of bacon and toast in front of him and was trying to figure out which canister to take to work with him.

There wasn't a response.

"Kurt! You're gonna be late!" Burt yelled again, "and for god sake's I'd prefer not to drive you."

Kurt turned in the bed as he heard that noise, he wasn't sure what it was. Or rather, he had a feeling it was his father, but he had no idea what that would mean and he wasn't too sure he _wanted_ to know. He yawned and stretched out, his body felt different. He couldn't stretch as far as before and he didn't understand why.

He looked at his hands, they were his hands, seemed familiar, but they weren't quite the same. A little puffier maybe? Had his body gotten fatter overnight? "Blaine…" he moaned before his eyes widened and he finally looked up at where he was. All of his furniture and posters and clothes were as they had been when he was younger, a lot younger.

It slowly dawned on him, this wasn't even the house that he and Burt had moved into after the wedding. This was the house he had spent years hiding away in, years of not being able to express himself, years of…torture with pee balloons and furniture on the top of the house.

No!

No! No! No!

He gripped to his shirt, a blue pair of pajamas that seemed much too similar to the ones that he had worn in that stupid 'Jump' commercial that Rachel had talked them into and had led to Mr. Schue not being able to take them to Sectionals. He opened the buttons and trembled as he saw the more baby penguin look that he had thought he had traded in for muscles and a body that _wanted_ to have sex.

Rushing up to the vanity, he stared at his face and felt the puffy cheeks, the 'cute' look that often got him picked up. He was happy he had looked like this _in the past_, but what did it mean now? Did it mean that…

_Blaine_

His eyes widened and he ran to the kitchen, his eyes wide and his cheeks starting to flush. Right, different body, pre-New York, not as toned. He clung to the door frame, bending over as he tried to take deep breaths in and out. "Dad, Dad, tell me…tell me you know who Blaine is…" he begged.

Burt looked at him confused and suddenly Kurt felt terrified. Was this _before_ he had come out to his Dad? Was this when he was still pretending to be straight? He clutched to his upper arm as his dad studied him.

"What's with those weird questions Kurt and don't you think that you should be getting out of those pajamas? Look kid, I might not agree with all of your clothes or your choice in singers like that Justin Wannawho,"

"Justin Timberlake," Kurt corrected before his eyes widened

_And I still say that piñata was a very good likeness. _

"Whatever," Burt said, "but I know you're not supposed to be wearing pajamas to school, so get something on and come join me for breakfast." Kurt nodded quickly, why did he do everything quickly at this age. "Is this Blaine guy some author you need the book of?"

"No, he's…I just remembered the name from somewhere," Kurt replied. It was part of a lie at least.

He rushed upstairs and grabbed some clothes out. This was one of the first times that he had put the minimum amount of thought into preparing a matching outfit with some kind of style sense, and he was going to forgo the majority of his shower and wake up ritual because he needed, he _needed_ to find out where Blaine was.

He had a very quick shower, brushed his teeth, combed his hair, and, whilst sitting in his bath robe, used the internet to find Facebook…did it really look _that_ different?

He went to the search bar before writing in the name 'Blaine Anderson'.

He took a deep breath in before seeing something that was very terrifying to him.

_Name could not be found_

His hands trembled upon the keyboard, tapping the keys as if using up all of his energy would actually lead to him feeling happier. It didn't help. He bowed his head, feeling weak and afraid and lost, this was a dream right? It was all a dream.

He bit his bottom lip and felt pain. He pinched himself, pain. He pinched himself again, pain.

Pain, but not Blaine.

Kurt trembled again, bringing his hands to his face and trying not to cry. He couldn't cry. He couldn't, especially not when he hadn't come out of the closet to his dad who had known since he was three that he was gay.

He needed some air.

He needed some time and some space to breathe.

His glasz eyes widened again and he started a new search, My Space.

He wanted to make a noise of discontentment as he opened the site, did anyone still go on here? He looked at the graphics and the scroll bar, not understanding why anyone would go on here, but he didn't understand why Blaine would never tell him about which school he had been to. He didn't understand why Blaine never wanted to talk to Kurt about _that_ part of his life.

Kurt clicked in the search bar and typed the two words most important to him.

'Blaine Anderson'

Kurt waited for the search to finish and smiled as he saw curly hair and a very young teen wearing wayfarers on his forehead. Kurt smiled as he looked at the picture of his soul mate, the boy that life had waited its sweet time, to help him find. Blaine was wearing a scarf, crimson and gold, but beneath that were bruises.

Kurt looked back into the eyes and saw something only _he_ came to recognize. Fear and pain.

Blaine might have been pretending that he was doing okay, but he wasn't.

A tear slid down Kurt's rounder cheeks as he found out the details of the school and he gripped the computer, 'Carmel High School'.

…..

He had never seen Blaine as part of Vocal Adrenaline.

…..

He heard Burt coming to his room and realized that he would have to leave soon. He stood and got changed, he would have to get something to style his hair with soon and maybe see if he could change his clothes more. Even though he knew it was the past, these clothes felt old and restricting and Kurt hated that feeling.

He left quickly with his school bag (homework put away the night before) and came to the kitchen to have dinner with his father.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN**: Thanks for all the support with the favorites and follows, would love some reviews,but I'm just happy to know people are enjoying the first chapter.

**Chapter Two:**

**Him**

Thank Gaga that first period was French class!

Kurt had always tried to play by the rules, to do what was a rule that didn't limit his personal freedom, but he couldn't think of a way of enjoying high school without any friends and without any Blaine. So he had come here, Carmel High School, in an attempt to meet Blaine.

The reason for meeting Blaine though….hadn't really occurred to him yet.

If his morning with Burt was any indication, Blaine didn't know of his existence yet. Blaine was just a teenage kid who was going on with his pre-Hummel life. He was probably trying to enjoy life, learning musical instruments, exercising, reading comic books, singing and…

THUD!

KRRRCCHHKK!

"You're dead you little pussy!" a student yelled out as Kurt instinctively took a couple steps backwards. "You act like you're a hot shot because your family is fricken wealthy, but you act like a turd ball and you look like puke."

Kurt rolled his eyes, _such originality_. He didn't know whether to get involved or not, he stood up for bullying at McKinley, but maybe McKinley was different, maybe _this_ fight _didn__'__t_ directly concern him just because he was witness to it.

"Are you gonna piss yourself Anderson!?" another student mocked as there was a loud Crash, "Are you gonna go wee wee in your big boy pants again?"

Kurt formed a fist…then released it.

He formed it again…and release

"You're idiots," he said as he started to approach them, not really prioritizing his personal safety as he saw that Blaine, god why was he so cute and attractive, had developed a new bruise and was bleeding. "Do you think violence is the answer, I would think that you have other ways of dealing with this…"

"Get out of the way runt!" the second bully said as he set his gaze on Kurt, the first turning to Blaine again and grabbing him by the collar until he started to choke him.

"Money Anderson!" he threatened as Blaine reached in his pocket.

"Oh, how original," Kurt commented sarcastically, "It's a shame that you're not in a convenience store right now as that is where you'll be after high school." He gave a smug smile before pointing to the two of them, "And the way that you're so close to one another makes it seem like you're hiding something, or maybe you just want to sniff each other's asses like the dogs you are."

Okay, _over the line. Over the damn line. _

It was just, seeing them attack the man…no boy he loved was causing his claws to come out.

As the bullies both turned their attention to Kurt, the brunette took a breath in…trying to come to the realization that his body was going to be in pain.

A cough was heard behind him.

"Stephen White and Marcus Martinez, I think you should stop what you're doing right now before I throw both of you off of my football team." Kurt looked back to see a sturdily built coach, he started to advance towards Blaine, "You, get to the nurse and next time, try not to start any drama."

Kurt looked back shocked. He reached out to give Blaine help up.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help more," Kurt apologized as he started to gather Blaine's belongings from the ground. He pulled a chemistry book from the mud as he saw Blaine holding his bag close to him and trying not to cry. He looked down shyly.

"Th-Tha-an-nks" he stuttered. He shifted around nervously. "F-f-for hel-el-ping me a-and st-st-stuff."

Blaine had never stuttered around him before.

"No problem, they're the ones in the wrong," Kurt said as he handed Blaine the rest of his things. "Do you want me to walk with you over to the nurse?"

Blaine hung his head before shaking it very quickly, his eyes closed.

"It ha-ha-happ-p-p-pens…they kn-n-now me now-ow, I'll b-b-be ok-kay on my ow-own. I'm ju-just very g-g-glad that you didn't g-g-get hu-hur-rt," he looked at Kurt, "Wh-who are you a-a-anywa-wa-way? I have-ven't s-s-seen you in a-a-any of my-my class-ss-sses. Are y-y-you a soph-sophomore?"

Kurt paused. Blaine didn't know him. Blaine was small and scared and he had his fluffy, curly hair.

He couldn't stop and notice the changes, but Blaine was still so _so _beautiful.

Eventually he shook his head, "No, I'm a freshman but I don't go to school here, I have a friend here, Louise Miller," he said, he hoped Blaine didn't know someone by that name.

"I…I ha-ha-haven't m-m-met them." Blaine replied, "I…I h-hope you u-un-understan-stand me. I t-tend t-t-to stutt-tutt-tter."

"It's fine and I can," Kurt nodded before holding out his hand, "Kurt Hummel."

"Uh, m-my na-name's B-Blaine," he said before holding out his own hand and dropping his books again. "S-Sorry" he squeaked as he bent to pick them up again.

"You have a lot of books," Kurt commented.

He looked at Blaine. There was such a strong urge to protect him and hug him and tell him that he loved him, but Kurt knew that he couldn't do that. If he acted too fast then Blaine would panic and it would ruin everything. Instead he had to remind himself to keep a respectful distance from the other teenager.

God, he was a _teenager_ again.

"A-A-AP class-ss-es" Blaine replied before pointing to the left at a modern looking building. "I-I-I ha-ave to g-go to the nur-urse. T-Thanks."

Kurt felt his breath catch in his throat, was Blaine really leaving. "Umm. My Space, do you have one of those?"

Blaine nodded without saying anything.

"Can I add you?" Kurt asked and Blaine nodded nervously.

"I-I u-use my e-e-email more a-a-and Li-ve Jour-ournal" Blaine reached for a piece of paper before writing a screen name and his email down. "Y-You do-don't ha-ha-ave to."

"I want to," Kurt replied back before seeing Blaine walking away with a smile and a quick wave before he dropped his books again.

Kurt gazed down at the information and smiled.

Even though he couldn't _be_ with Blaine right now he could still try to set up some meetings, some times where they could be together. He was in shock at how different his future fiancee was, but Blaine would get stronger. He was _bound_ to get stronger again right?

Kurt headed back to where he had caught the bus, he was young still and so he didn't even have a provisional license. He paid the money and went to sit in the middle of the bus as he looked out the window.

Maybe he'd get in trouble for missing French, but he still knew everything he did when he was older and in New York. He didn't _need_ French.

As he got to McKinley he felt relieved that classes had already started. Maybe if he made up an excuse he could get a half period and cheat his way out of a detention. He quickly made his way there, he opened the door and attempted to slip inside.

He saw Azimio in there and his blood ran colder, his heart thumping in his chest.

All of a sudden he heard his name, "Mr Hummel, what are you doing sneaking in so late?"

"Yeah pixie," Azimio laughed, "Were you spreading your fairy dust?"

"Are you gonna tell us you're gay or just weird," Dave Karofsky joined in, "With outfits like that I'd say you're a major queer."

Kurt felt his mouth move without him realizing it as he let out a straight lie, "I'm not gay." He turned to the teacher, "My father got into a little bit of trouble at home, I do apologize for my lateness," he said in French as the class turned to him stunned.

The teacher opened her mouth and nodded, "I'll excuse this extended tardy for today, but I need to talk to you about your French level," she said, copying Kurt and speaking in French as well.

Kurt nodded as he took out his notebook and started copying down notes, in the corner he had drawn a heart around Blaine's information that he had copied down on the bus.

He just had to get through today.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**  
A Gay Pedophile**  
**

Kurt nervously attended his classes again as he looked around at the world that had always scared him at this age, it, it didn't feel so intimidating anymore. Sure, there were still the nerves of someone about to hurt him, he doubted he could _ever_ get Karofsky's attacks in his junior year out of his mind, but he was noticing things he never had before.

Everyone in this school was exhausted, but there were some teachers out there who actually cared, who were actually good at what they did and were just trying to get enough money to pay their rents. It was both tragic and inspiring at the same time.

Then you got the ones who didn't care.

You couldn't do anything about those, at least…Kurt couldn't.

It was after his English class, the last class before lunch that he had spotted her…okay…he had spotted this brunette so many times before, always answering every question with a lengthy opinion, always attempting to show off in front of others. Yes, he had seen her much earlier on, but this was his first excuse to talk to her.

"Hello, Rachel," he smiled as he approached her and offered her his hand, "I'm not sure if we've actually…met, I'm…"

"Let me guess," Rachel sighed dramatically, "if you're going to invite me somewhere and then not show up that's not funny, if you tell me I've won some kind of award but then pig blood gets dumped on my head, I don't want to know, and if you want to send me to a crack house…"

"Yo—" Kurt started, he was about to say, _You actually did that_, but he knew that that was in the future, Rachel hadn't _done_ that yet. "You're wrong. I just wanted to see if you were interested in running a student-run Glee club with me."

Kurt made sure to take a few meaningful steps to the side as Rachel looked at him confused.

The brunette cleared her throat and frowned, "This school already _has_ a Glee club, you know, Mr Ryerson's Glee club, besides I don't really know your name. I make it my business to know a lot of names and yours isn't one of them."

Kurt rolled his eyes, he wanted to come back at her with some sassy remark, but he had to calm himself down. Rachel was just meeting him, she wasn't in a position where she could tolerate his sass. "It's Kurt, and I think we can do much better than _that_ Glee club don't you?"

Rachel paused looking aside, "What do you mean? If you're saying that all of Mr Ryerson's ideas are wrong then I think you could call that a matter of taste, I do have to agree with you that I have to fight for the solos I want. Otherwise he would give them to Hank, or Ricky, or Mark. It's as if he doesn't know that I sing better than anyone at this school."

Kurt nodded slowly.

Silence.

He couldn't say it could he….he couldn't actually come straight out and say how he felt about Sandy Ryerson.

"Mr Ryerson is a genius anyway, I think he has it in him to really train me and get me to stand on a stage. I want to be an actress, well a musical theatre starlet and I think Mr Ryerson has…." Rachel began, but Kurt growled.

"Sandy Ryerson is a gay pedophile!" he shouted as Rachel looked at him startled.

Rachel looked around in horror as all heads were turned towards where Kurt was.

"Student," Kurt heard the principal say behind him, "I need to see you in my office now."

God, was this a huge mistake.

….

Kurt had tried to argue his point, he had tried to defend himself, but when he was asked to stop or it would go on his permanent record he stopped. It didn't keep him from being suspended though, why he was being suspended had more to do with the poor quality of education than anything else. So after his father had collected him from school, he had had to talk it out with his dad.

Burt seemed to think it was a cry for attention, just like the rest of Kurt's outfits that he didn't like Kurt wearing.

Kurt was too annoyed to argue, this day was harder then he had expected and getting worse and he just wanted to be back with Blaine. He wanted to be snuggled up next to the man of his dreams. He missed Blaine's lips and his body, yes, but he missed more than that. He missed those beautiful eyes, those gentle hands, his soft stomach. Underneath it all, Blaine had the biggest heart…a heart that Kurt knew he had won, he wished he was there now.

Still, he was here.

Even after he had forced himself to take a nap, he was here.

He took a deep breath before walking forward and picked up a can of hairspray before running his fingers through the limp strands of his younger self. Did he have hair which would hold up to the coif that he loved? He had spent years deciding what style he wanted, if it turned out badly it would just be another kick to his soul.

As he used the comb and the spray, he managed to do it. He had that younger, rounder face that he had always been embarrassed because it felt like puberty had skipped him, but he had a coif. A far from perfect hairdo, but he could improve it over time.

There was a knock on the door, a timid sound and Kurt sighed. Maybe it was Rachel who had come to see him, his address was in the school registry after all. He could discuss the Glee club with her, maybe get things back on track. He doubted it was anyone who cared enough about him to bring him his homework.

The knock was heard again and Kurt took a few steps outside of his bedroom, "Dad! The door!"

There was no answer. He came up the stairs and went to the door, taking a deep breath because who _knew_ how many pee balloons would be awaiting him on the other side. As he opened the door he saw no one, but there in the middle of the mat was a box of expensive chocolates and a note 'Thank you'.

Kurt's heart stopped and he took what felt like a stolen breath in. He looked out onto the street and then caught sight of the boy he wanted. He locked the door and, not even bothering to get shoes on, ran after Blaine. He managed to catch up to him rather quickly and hooked his arm with the other boy.

Blaine turned towards him in complete horror, his eyes had tears in them already and he had closed them before taking the situation in. His whole body was shaking and he was attempting to push Kurt away.

"I…I-I-I'm ss-ss-sorry" he said.

His voice sounded so weak, so pained.

Kurt dropped the younger teen's arm and took a couple steps backward. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to say that I'm happy to see you," he said as Blaine opened his eyes and Kurt could gaze into those honey-amber pools he loved so much.

Blaine smiled as he saw him and Kurt smiled too.

"You want to come to my house and talk? We could try to get to know each other?" he suggested as the curly haired boy nodded. Blaine hung his head and then continued to stare downwards. "Blaine?"

"S-Sh-shoes…" he laughed as Kurt laughed too.

"I never usually do this, I just really didn't want you to run away."

_He NEVER would want Blaine to run away._

…

**So, thanks for keeping up with me. I really hope that you are liking it, I kind of give myself a rule though that I won't usually update a fic without at least one review on the last chapter :P I know, I'm selfish, but it really helps me feel good when people like reading my work as much as I enjoy writing it. **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: **I really want to thank everyone for their support through this fic, the fact that I got four reviews on the last chapter is not only incredibly motivating for this chapter, but for future chapters as well. Thank you, really, thank you.

**Chapter Four**

Sharing the past

Kurt watched as Blaine looked around the house. Somehow Kurt felt scared, he was pretty positive that Blaine wasn't someone who would judge him, but he still wondered what Blaine would say. Family photographs were set out on different surfaces and there were all these clues to who this young teenage Kurt was.

Blaine moved forwards before pointing to a picture of an eight year old Kurt who looked depressed, he was carrying some roses. "Y-You l-look sa-sad here" he stuttered as Kurt walked forwards to him and nodded as he picked up the framed photograph.

"This is a picture that was taken when I visited my mother's grave with a friend of my father's," he commented as Blaine looked at him with such sadness and sympathy in his eyes. Kurt was used to people his dad knew looking at him with pity, feeling sorry for his situation, but he knew in Blaine's expression (because he had learned Blaine's expressions by heart) that this was sympathy.

"Sor-sorry," he said before looking at the roses. "Y-Your mother li-liked roses?" he asked as Kurt took a deep breath in.

"Yeah, I mean she loved all kinds of flowers, we always had flowers around the house. There was a time when I spilled over a vase of…" his voice slowed as the memory played in his mind, it somehow seemed so important, "red and yellow roses. It was one of my mother's favorite vases as well."

"Oh," Blaine said softly, "M-my f-father doe-doesn't do tha-that. O-one time I g-got h-hit beca-cause I broke a pl-pl-plate."

Kurt's eyes widened as he looked at the love of his life, well the younger version of him, "You got hit because you broke a plate?" he asked as Blaine closed his eyes and gave a firm nod, tears appearing in his eyes. "I really…really am sorry that happened to you, can I ask if it was an antique?"

Blaine flinched before shaking his head, "I-It wa-was a din-dinner plate. M-my d-dad hi-hit me with his bel-belt."

Kurt formed a fist and looked down angrily, how come Blaine had never let him into these stories? He knew that after Blaine had come out of the closet, his dad had tried to convert him to being straight and when that didn't work, he distanced himself from his son. He hadn't heard Blaine talk to him about physical abuse.

"That's horrible. It really sickens me that he put you through that, I know it doesn't help, but I'm so sorry that that had to happen to you," he said as he looked at the younger teenager.

Blaine's eyes widened which led to Kurt noticing (and once more taking comfort in) those honey-amber eyes. Blaine shook his head wildly.

"I-It happ-ppens all th-the ti-time, it-it's n-not that b-bad. N-Not li-like the day-days so-spent lock-ocked in th-the clo-closet," Blaine tried to defend his dad.

Kurt looked at him again. That was horrifying and the way that Blaine was just defending his past as if it was no big deal made it all the worse. All those scars, all that pain, it really made Kurt realize _why_ Blaine always seemed so dependent and as if Kurt's words and actions meant everything to him.

_I hate you coming home late. I know you need to do it for your Vogue internship and NYADA. I still hate it, I hate that I prepare you dinner and you don't even call ahead, I hate waiting by the phone and wondering where you are. I hate it that you don't tell me everything as if I can't take it, as if I won't love you through all of it. I hate how you distance yourself in class and make me feel as if you don't even care about us being together._

_Blaine, I'm not going through this with you again and you're not in charge of my life. It's not as if you really need me to do those things and I'm sick of feeling to blame for the fact that you don't have a life. You have your own work with June, just because you offered me the chance to do that duet with you, doesn't mean that we're tied to the hip. Sometimes I wonder whether I really love you._

_I don't give a damn what you say, because I know that you love me. You might not show it all of the time I'm sorry to admit, but I know that you love me because you have never hurt me. You're perfect Kurt, you make me so happy, is it my fault that I care about you!?_

_Will you stop telling me that I'm perfect, it makes me feel that I have to fit this imaginary role in your life. Maybe you should find someone as weak as you are most of the time now._

Kurt felt tears in his own eyes as that fight replayed in his head, he saw Blaine looking at him in both curiosity and guilt, as if he had done something wrong. Why had Kurt been so aggressive during that argument and said things that he definitely didn't mean? Why hadn't he stopped to think _why_ Blaine had said these things to him?

He hadn't been completely honest with Blaine because of his own walls and it was only considerate to notify Blaine on what he was doing if it actually interfered or made a difference in Blaine's own life. Love wasn't something to take away whenever he felt like it, and he definitely shouldn't have called Blaine weak. It seemed that these were two things from his childhood that were rooted in Blaine from early childhood.

Suddenly he felt Blaine touch his arm before flinching and pulling back again.

"U-Umm so-sorry abou-about the physi-sical conta-act but a-are you o-okay?" Blaine asked nervously as Kurt turned towards him and nodded.

"Blaine, you shouldn't feel worried or scared about touching me, I'm not your dad and I would never ever hurt you. I'm not trying to be your friend out of pity, I'm trying to be your friend because you seem like a good guy and I'd love to have a friend right now, I don't have many friends of my own. I'd really like to spend time with you."

Blaine blinked, staring at Kurt as if he was an alien who just materialized out of a bucket full of slime, or at least a Flubber who turned human. "Wh-Why?"

"Because," Kurt smiled, "I like meeting new people. You're very sweet, very kind, and I could tell by that huge pile of textbooks that you were carrying around that you're very intelligent. I just know that we could be really good friends."

Blaine stared at him with so much hope in his eyes as a smile appeared on his face, "Re-really?"

"Absolutely," Kurt grinned, "So, let me help you, tell me one thing you are uncomfortable about. Helping you through everything might be too overwhelming for you at first, so let's take it one step at a time."

Blaine looked down, he moved his foot side to side nervously before finally deciding, "M-My hair," he said as he ran his fingers through the curls.

Kurt smiled. He loved seeing Blaine's curls, but maybe Blaine had a point. Brittany had once called him Mr. Broccoli Head.

"Let me try something, just sit down here for a moment," he said as Blaine nodded. Kurt led him into the living room and Blaine took a seat on the couch. His body was rigid, his posture perfect and he just sat there putting his hands on his knees as if at a formal occasion.

Kurt wanted to tell Blaine to be comfortable, but maybe that was too much for him.

As he returned from his bedroom, Kurt carried a pot of hair gel and a mirror. He wasn't too big a fan of the gel, but he would do it if it made Blaine more comfortable, if he started to enjoy life more. "Close your eyes please," he asked softly and Blaine nodded.

Enjoying the feeling of actually being able to touch Blaine so gently, Kurt worked the gel in and smiled as he saw more of the Blaine Anderson that he recognized. He came to the front of Blaine and handed him a mirror, "What do you think?" he asked.

Blaine smiled and he didn't stutter this time, "Better."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Not allowed Friends

"So," Kurt smiled as he got up from the sofa as Blaine sat on the chair. Originally they had both been on the sofa, but somewhere during their watch of 'When Harry Met Sally', Blaine had changed places, his body still extremely rigid.

It disappointed Kurt in a lot of ways.

Now that Blaine had the hair gel on he looked more like the boy that Kurt had had as a partner, the one who loved him and wasn't afraid of showing it, the one who would fight for his right to _be_ with Kurt. Right at this moment he was trembling in this very 'set' position and closing his eyes. Kurt had no idea how to comfort him.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked as he slid on the couch over towards where Blaine was seated. "Is something wrong? If you didn't want to watch the movie you could have said something."

Blaine stood and he looked around the house, his eyes wild and Kurt wasn't sure what was happening. The Blaine he had known had always been so confident and was able to relax and hang out at The Lima Bean without any problems. Kurt looked down, his heart beating painfully in his chest, had he pushed the other teenager too far? Had he been the reason that Blaine was like this? He didn't want to be, but wasn't there a chance.

"I ha-ha-have to g-g-go," Blaine announced as he looked around, his eyes darting to different things in the house. As he stood there, his whole body started to shake even more, his hand was gripping to the side table next to him.

Kurt's face turned into one of the deepest concern, "Is something wrong? Did I do something wrong? Was it the movie?" he asked.

Blaine looked at him and turned not saying anything as if he was in some kind of trance.

"Blaine?" he asked before watching the other male going to his shoes and putting them on to leave. Kurt had absolutely no idea what was happening, Blaine had seemed just fine watching the movie. Of course he had been displaying proper posture of the kind you associated with English nobility, but that wasn't too strange, was it?

"I-I-I'm so-so-sorry," Blaine replied, "I ha-ha-have t-t-to go-o."

Blaine started lacing up his expensive, formal shoes and he straightened his collar.

Kurt leaned against the wall, he didn't quite grasp what was happening and he wanted to know why Blaine was suddenly this upset. When they were together in the past, or rather future, the two of them would often watch 'When Harry Met Sally' and sometimes Blaine would be the big spoon and sometimes Kurt would be. What was happening now moved Kurt to believe that somewhere during their time together he had violated Blaine, or at least made him uncomfortable enough to leave.

"Can you please tell me what I can do to make it up to you?"

Kurt was desperate to make amends for this afternoon and it was more than for making Blaine feel happy and comfortable again. Kurt needed to do something to prove to Blaine that he was sorry because otherwise he might not see Blaine again. If that was the case, and Kurt was really just stuck here, that would mean that he would never date, be engaged to, or marry Blaine. He didn't want any of those things to happen, he just wanted Blaine to stay.

"N-N-Noth-thing," Blaine replied, a few tears in his eyes which Kurt desperately wanted to wipe away. He knew how this would be handled in the future, he would rush to Blaine's side, demand to know what the problem was, hug and kiss the man he loved, and just do anything he could to make it better. However, if Kurt was to run to Blaine to kiss him and hug him it would definitely make it harder for Blaine to even feel _safe_ to return to the house.

"Can you please tell me what's wrong?" Kurt tried again as the other teenager looked at the floor.

"M-M-My da-da-dad com-omes h-h-home toda-day" Blaine flinched as he gripped to his arm and Kurt's brow furrowed. Was that it? Was Blaine just needing to see his father, or more was Blaine just expected to be there when his father returned. What was the worst that could happen if he wasn't? Okay…judging by the way that Blaine was acting perhaps a lot of things that Kurt wasn't even considering _could _happen, the answer is would they?

"I want to see you again," Kurt said quickly as Blaine approached the door, "Would that be possible?"

Blaine's breath quickened and he gave himself a hug as he looked at Kurt. He tried to measure his breaths but it was obvious that he was very scared by it all. As Kurt approached him, Blaine flinched, he hung his head and then shook it as a definite no. "M-My pa-pa-parents wo-wo-wouldn-n-n't li-like i-i-it," he announced.

Kurt was caught off guard by _that_ kind of a reply. Were the Andersons really this controlling of their youngest son's life, would they really be happy trying to find their own power in each and every moment of their son's life? Kurt had been criticized by his dad a few times when it came to more feminine fashions and behaviors, but his dad had mostly been joking about them, he had never really cared as to what Kurt did and especially not to who he was friends with. Burt had always been very protective and supportive, but he hadn't been anything close to cruel. Kurt should just admit that he had no idea what Blaine was going through, but obviously his mouth wasn't catching up to his head.

"You enjoyed your time here, right?" he asked and saw Blaine nod quickly, "You can enjoy your time with me again, your dad doesn't have to know. I won't tell anyone, I promise, and if my dad comes home and he meets with you he won't either. Maybe tell them you went to the library or a PSAT prep class."

Blaine seemed to be struggling more as he listened to Kurt and he held himself tighter, a couple of tears trickling down his cheeks. As Kurt continued, Blaine started to flinch at every other word.

Kurt knew he wasn't helping at that point, but he still didn't understand the problem, he still didn't understand why Blaine was having such a hard time explaining this to Kurt or risking the consequences of his father. "I really want to be your friend, Blaine," Kurt finally said as Blaine looked at him terrified.

"I-I-I-I a-a-ant ha-riends" he choked, his words starting to come together as he gripped to the door handle, turning it. Kurt heard his heart pound in his chest, the rhythm of the beats causing for his breaths to tighten and for even more fear and pain to appear on his face. Did Blaine really just say that his parents didn't allow him to have friends? When had this ever happened?

_I can't just leave the Warblers. Those guys are my friends._

Kurt remembered when Blaine had said that to him, it was during the time when Kurt was trying to convince Blaine to transfer to McKinley even though Blaine seemed hesitant about doing so, it still meant that he considered the Warblers his friends though…..yet…Kurt had never known Blaine to spend time with anyone but himself outside of the school.

Kurt had been a bit self-involved at first, he had tried to spend every moment he could with Blaine and he had made Mercedes feel a bit neglected because of it. Kurt had accepted that when he had been with Blaine the priorities in his life had been pushed around. Had he never known that Blaine wasn't socializing or hanging out with anyone else? Was this why Blaine had become so obsessed with Jeremiah or why he had developed that stupid crush on Sam? Had it been because those two guys had actually bothered to make time for him when few people had in the past?

"Skype!" Kurt said as Blaine turned around, "Do you have Skype? We could message each other, it wouldn't even have to be every day, my Skype username is FashionSavvyKurt," he said. Kurt was desperate to at least maintain some form of contact with Blaine. It wouldn't be as good as physically being able to spend time with him, but it would be so much better than Blaine disappearing from him.

Blaine nodded, "O-Okay, I-I-I'll a-add you," he replied.

Kurt took a deep breath in and let Blaine leave at that point. He still wasn't sure if he had been the one who had done something wrong, he didn't even want to question it really, but he was excited for that first Skype conversation.

—-

About four hours later, Kurt was sitting at his computer and was trying to decide which pieces from latest designer lines would fit both his preferences and still be tasteful fashionably. He didn't want to look _too_ different from other people, but he couldn't just live his life with these kind of drab outfits.

It was when he was trying to design something based off of a Marc Jacobs look that he realized he had been added by someone on Skype 'HeartofGlass95'. Kurt smiled at the name of the Blondie song and clicked accept. Most of the details were blank, but there was one name. Blaine. That was all he needed to know.

Instantly Kurt tried to place a video chat.

It was rejected.

Kurt sighed, he blamed the internet, it had definitely sped up as the years went by and if a successful call could be placed it would make him extremely happy because he would be able to see Blaine.

Kurt tried to place the chat again.

Once again it was rejected.

Kurt actually tried three more times and on that fifth time he tried, Blaine picked up and Kurt paled as he looked across at the boy he had seen earlier. Over his left eye was a bruise and on his throat were finger marks. There was a cut that Kurt was pretty sure had been bleeding earlier on the left side of his forehead. 

Kurt's heart started to break as he looked ahead at the boy he had had round his house earlier.

"B-Blaine?"


	6. Chapter 6

**So as I've said before I've been really depressed lately, but I'm seeing a therapist and taking some different medications. As rude as it is to ask though, reviews are one way of making me feel worthwhile and as I said on the author note, not seeing any for a couple of my fics was a trigger that led to self harm. Sorry if that is a trigger for others.******

**Chapter Six**

**Friends**

Kurt stared straight ahead of the screen, he quickly brought his right hand over his left wrist to calm himself. No, there was nothing that could calm him from witnessing this younger version of the person he loved in this state. He felt guilty, he could have made Blaine feel better just by coming to his house and defending him. The older Blaine had suffered this abuse as a child though and he hadn't even let Kurt be aware of this secret.

Maybe it was too painful for Blaine to even talk to _him_ about.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked, bringing a shaking hand to his mouth, "Blaine are you okay?"

Blaine shook his head as Kurt noticed the cuts and realized that though the stuttering had been bad it was probably harder for Blaine to talk to him right now. Kurt imagined that Blaine hadn't ever let someone else witness this abuse. Otherwise he'd be put in the foster care system. Abusing a minor was never okay, but Blaine seemed to want to defend his father and as much as Kurt absolutely hated doing so, he knew he had to respect Blaine's wishes if he ever wanted to be close to him.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Kurt asked again, trying to coat the worry in his voice with something that sounded comforting. It failed.

Blaine closed his eyes, a few tears approaching as he shook his head again, he finally opened his mouth and choked out, "I-I-I c-c-ca-a-n-n-n't-t"

Kurt took a deep breath in, okay, he had to calm down and realize that in the state Blaine was in now he had to use other methods. He didn't want to force the other teenager to speak to him when he obviously couldn't. As he noticed Blaine flinch again, Kurt reached out a hand wanting to touch him, but he couldn't. You couldn't touch someone on the other side of a computer connection.

"Can we IM?" he finally asked as Blaine nodded quickly. "Okay, I'm going to end this call," Kurt told him as Blaine nodded again and Kurt ended the call.

He opened a chat window and managed to choose Blaine's name as to the person to communicate with, he wanted to be soft and gentle, but seeing Blaine like that made him so so sad.

_**Blaine Anderson has entered chat**_

__K: Hey, thanks for agreeing to talk to me  
B: it's okay  
K: and I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable  
B: oh, it's okay

K: I care Blaine, but I'll keep quiet and help in other ways if you prefer

B: Yes,

—-  
Okay so Kurt wouldn't report Mr Anderson as much as he wanted to, he wanted to respect Blaine's wishes but he didn't know how he could really help. Maybe if he spent more time with Blaine, Blaine would start feeling better and be distracted from the life he had, maybe if he found out what _this_ Blaine liked then he could plan some activities that would prove to the younger male that he wanted to be his friend, right now, more than anything, it seemed that Blaine needed a friend.

Even though Kurt would always love his future fiancee, he didn't want to scare Blaine off _especially_ since he was in this fragile state.

—

K: It was your dad right?  
B: It wasn't his fault. I…I came home later than he was expecting

K: Your dad works from home?  
B: No, he…he had a bad deal at work so he…he went to a bar and came home  
K: I'm sorry

B: Please don't say that. Please?  
K: I'm trying to sympathize with you  
B: Please Please Please don't say that. It was my fault, _mine_, I just…don't want to shame you

—-  
Kurt blinked, did Blaine really say he was worried to make Kurt ashamed of him. Kurt shook his head, a few tears running down his cheeks. Blaine was feeling so much guilt and pain and Kurt couldn't even comfort him because of just how emotionally damaged he was. Kurt remembered a very important conversation he had had with Blaine, one that had taken place after West Side Story when Blaine was trying to perfect his dance moves.  
_  
__Tonight, on that stage,_ _I was so proud to be with you.__  
__Good. I want you to be.___

This Blaine, pre-Warbler Blaine definitely didn't feel proud of himself and Kurt realized how much Blaine must have been blaming him even as a young child. The fact that Kurt had shown Blaine how much he mattered in Kurt's life, the way that Kurt said such meaningful words without even realizing them, somehow it made him feel healed inside. It made him feel as if he had really been the person to save Blaine as much as Blaine had saved him.

—-

K: I have to disagree but I won't pressure you

B: You don't understand  
K: Maybe not. Do you want to talk about something else?  
B: Yes

—-  
Okay, so Kurt had a chance to give Blaine a comforting conversation, maybe some suggestions about how Blaine might be able to improve his life. He wanted to think about all of the little things that Blaine enjoyed. Maybe he hadn't started with some of his hobbies, maybe singing, and Kurt could bring that to him. He knew enough about Blaine to know what made him happy.

—-

K: What is your favorite animal?  
K: Sorry for such a dumb question  
B: It's not dumb…umm…I guess I like dogs best  
K: No offense but you kind of looked like a puppy today  
B: ?

—-  
Okay, so of course Blaine wouldn't understand how much Kurt liked to joke about his partner's puppy dog eyes, they hadn't had those conversations yet. Maybe he had messed up, maybe Blaine would take that the wrong way. Kurt hoped not.

—-

K: You just…reminded me of one, weird right?  
B: no  
K: So, what do you think about birds?

—-

Kurt knew there was a bird sanctuary nearby and he also knew that Blaine always liked birds, he knew that it meant so much more than the fact that Kurt had actually sung 'Blackbird' when Blaine had realized how much he loved him…or at least was attracted to him. Even though Blaine hadn't had that experience, maybe even at this time Blaine liked birds.

_I don't know if it's all this bird talk but I'm feeling turned on right now__  
__Let's go inside__  
_— 

B: i don't know, I like the way they fly but I haven't paid much attention to them  
K: Oh,

B: why? are you thinking of getting a bird?  
K: no, that wasn't what I was thinking. I was thinking there's a bird sanctuary nearby and I think it'd be nice to go with another person and I don't have many friends  
B: that sounds nice, I'd like to…uh…but my father  
K: does he have to find out?  
B: no, he's on a business trip Sunday through Wednesday, umm…would that be okay?  
K: Sunday sounds perfect  
B: =D  
B: I'm excited, I haven't had a friend before…well not for many years  
K: I'm looking forward to it as well. You seem a good friend to have.

B: thanks, but i hear my dad downstairs. I'll contact you soon

K: thanks Blaine, talk to you later?  
B: umm…tomorrow? I'll contact you  
K: sure, talk to you later  
B: you too

—  
As Blaine signed off Kurt felt a lot of mixed emotions. He wanted to protect Blaine, but maybe a trip to a bird sanctuary would be a good place to start for the happiness for the boy he still loves. He took a deep breath before whispering, "I love you Blaine, I love you and I always will."


	7. Chapter 7

So, after a fic that I've just started writing and love writing, "Night's Shadow" got basically zero reviews for a couple of chapters, it dawned on me that the main reason that I should be writing is that it makes me happy. I hope to get feedback and reviews, but this chapter definitely made me happy and opened up something _very_ important about the Klaine relationship so I hope you enjoy it.

**Chapter Seven****  
****Blackbird**

Blaine stared at all the different birds as he spent time with Kurt. He wasn't sure why his new friend (he had a friend!) wanted to show him this place, but it was very calming and a lot of the birds quite beautiful. The air was peaceful and quiet and the sounds were able to be lived with, calming in a way. No anger, no yelling, no pain. Something very very simple.

Blaine watched a canary as it hopped onto a branch, he blinked as it lost one of its feathers. He looked towards Kurt who was staring at a cockatoo and started to reach out for his arm before dropping his hand. Some people didn't like to be touched and what if Kurt didn't want to be his friend anymore because Blaine was invading his personal space. He nervously touched his gel covered hair, Kurt was right it really was like a safety helmet from the world, but he hadn't applied it as well as Kurt had the first time.

He opened his mouth, but was scared of saying the wrong thing so just continued to watch the canary as it chirped happily. It seemed so free and so lively, Blaine couldn't even remember the last time _he_ felt that alive. He watched as it flew over to a water bottle and started to drink like a hamster might.

It wasn't until he felt a warm body next to him that he even realized that Kurt had moved over to be right next to him, "I saw you try and reach out," Kurt explained as Blaine nodded, closing his eyes quickly as if there was something wrong. Kurt took another breath and then placed his hand over Blaine's, seeing the surprise in the younger teenager's eyes he smiled and saw Blaine smile too. "Is there something wrong?"

"Th-The bir-rd lo-lo-lost it-its fe-fe-feath-er" Blaine stuttered out.

Kurt smiled, he was noticing that although Blaine still couldn't speak without stuttering, it was getting easier for them to talk to one another. Blaine was starting to feel comfortable with him and Kurt really wished that they felt more comfortable with one another, but he had to play this slowly. He had to understand what the boy who was once his fiancee (hopefully they could still get _that_ back) was comfortable with.

_He's just molting_

Kurt had texted Blaine about that in a panic when they were at Dalton, he had been concerned for Pavarotti as he lost his feathers, he had no idea that the bird would die before the next round of glee competitions. Kurt looked ahead as he saw the feather on the ground, he chuckled.

"He's molting," he tried to explain to Blaine gently, "It's what birds do when they're growing a new coat of feathers underneath, it's nothing to be worried about," he smiled as he watched the canary. "Canaries are actually my favorite types of bird," he tried to explain to Blaine.

Blaine nodded, "Th-They're c-c-cute," he said as he watched it before turning to look Kurt in the eyes, "I-I-I thought y-you like-liked the p-pea-cock."

Kurt chuckled again, "I didn't dislike the peacock," he attempted to explain, "but I wouldn't consider it a favorite, see I'm really into fashion design and more…avant-garde pieces as well so the peacock's colorful feathers inspire me in a more artistic fashion, but I really love canaries. They just…remind me of happiness, remind me of friendship, remind me of what's important in life."

Blaine smiled softly as he looked towards the small bird, "It's sweet,"

Kurt looked at him in shock, Blaine had actually started watching the bird and he hadn't stuttered, he had just said that so easily and carefree in a younger version of the voice he still loved to hear. Kurt was reluctant to point it out, if Blaine noticed that he hadn't stuttered he might feel even more insecure and they might not be able to talk _as_ easily.

"I..I..th-think it's ad-adorable," Blaine said and Kurt smiled, even when expressing a personal thought Blaine seemed to find it easier to talk to him, didn't that mean that Kurt was starting to make progress with their friendship. Kurt nodded as he turned back to watch the little bird. "D-Don't you?"

_I think it's adorable, I think you're adorable, and the only people who will be dying tonight are the audience because you and me we're going to kill this._

Kurt grinned as he remembered the words Blaine had said to him when they had started to go out together, when Blaine had become his boyfriend. He wanted to repeat the words back to Blaine but that was probably stepping over the line as far as their friendship was concerned. Instead he nodded and gave a simple, "Of course."

"K-Kurt," Blaine said facing him and Kurt gave a single nod and a hum to indicate that he was listening to the other boy, "Is th-there a ra-ra-raven here?" he asked nervously.

Kurt nodded, losing himself in thought. Was there a specific reason that Blaine wanted to see a raven? They weren't exactly the most attractive of birds, they weren't as cute as the canary, or have the beautiful feathers that a peacock had, or were even that rare. It seemed an odd request. He nodded again.

"I believe there is, why?" he had to ask and Blaine started to tremble a little.

"I-I-I ne-nev-ver sa-saw on-one and th-there's a P-P-Poe po-po-em" he stuttered as Kurt felt his stomach sink, had he really looked that judgmental to Blaine, he didn't want to think that he had been, but the way that Blaine was reacting to him now made him question if Blaine had taken that doubt as a personal attack.

"Oh, nevermore," Kurt tried to joke as Blaine nodded quickly, "I think we _should_ be able to find one," he replied

After looking on the map, Kurt took Blaine to where it was said there was a raven and the two looked for it, sadly the raven had a small bandage over its right wing and wasn't flying, it didn't look the most happy bird and there was a sign on the cage asking for visitors to the sanctuary to be respectful.

Blaine watched in wonder at the bird and then looked towards Kurt, "I…I fe-feel I ha-have br-br-broken m-my wing s-s-sometimes," he said a tear rolling down his cheek.

Kurt wanted more than anything to comfort him, he wanted to make him feel better and show that he still cared and loved Blaine. Okay, maybe love was a bit too strong for this scenario, but there was one thing that he felt comfortable doing.

"Blaine," Kurt said as he gestured to a bench, "No matter how painful it gets, no matter the hurt you feel, I want to be your friend and I want you to know how important you are to me already." He saw Blaine look at him curiously and Kurt smiled kindly back at him, "Do you mind if I sing you something?" he asked as Blaine nodded.

Kurt took a moment to prepare himself as a memory entered his mind.

_Watching you do blackbird this week, was a moment for me, about you._

He cleared his throat and then softly started to sing.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night.  
Take these broken wings and learn to fly.

All your life,

You were only waiting for this moment to arrive."

Kurt continued to sing, seeing more of a sense of peace and happiness on his friend's face, he really felt that he was getting through to Blaine, really helping him see how important he was. Somewhere deep inside of Kurt, he somehow realized that this was the first time that someone had taken this much interest in Blaine and it definitely showed on the honey-hazel eyed boy's face.

Kurt would do anything to make sure Blaine knew he was loved.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: **This post ends on a cliffhanger and I hope you enjoy it, my mind was pretty clouded throughout it but I still enjoyed writing this chapter and hope you enjoy it too.

**Chapter Eight**

**Nightbird of the Future**

Kurt was very glad that after the day at the bird sanctuary, Blaine was once again opening up to him, it felt so refreshing that they could spend time together again and after a couple of Skype sessions, Blaine wasn't stuttering as badly. Kurt had managed to put together a fashionable 'mature' outfit with a black waistcoat, orange and brown shirt, and brown pants with a classic type of belt. He remembered wearing similar things when he was finishing up senior year. He was hoping that Blaine would like these clothes.

The two had decided to meet somewhere public and Kurt was a little afraid of spooking Blaine like this, he just hoped that it was all okay. They were meeting at the public library in Westerville and Kurt wasn't sure if Blaine actually expected him to show up, maybe that was the reason Blaine would be doing work for his AP class. Well, Kurt and his bag of mini cupcakes would hopefully be a good surprise.

He had hidden the cakes in his bag as he came into the library and looked around to find out where Blaine was. He needed to find that huge stack of AP books, maybe a few notebooks, probably a stressed out teenager, he wasn't expecting to find a smiling teenager reading comic books in secret in the corner where you could barely see him.

Kurt smiled as he placed his fingers to his hairline, it had taken him a while making his hair look this absolutely amazing and he didn't want to ruin the effect, but he needed a good thing to say to Blaine. He walked over to the table and smiled, "Find something good in there?" he asked as Blaine flinched, gripping tight to the book and slamming it shut. He held it against his chest as if it could protect him.

Kurt sighed softly and sadly, "I thought it would be nice to read together," Kurt said awkwardly.

The smile that took over Blaine's face made Kurt feel as if he himself was getting filled with light, Blaine looked so excited to see him and Kurt wasn't sure if he had ever seen that slightly guarded but still excited look. The Warbler Blaine was always so…refined, this was just pure and youthful Blaine.

"K-Kurt" he chirped before opening the AP Science book to show his comic book and a couple drawings that looked really good. "Umm…I-I-I like com-mic books," he tried to explain shyly as Kurt came over to him and ran his fingers over the book, he saw how much Blaine liked these and he smiled as he thought about how many things made _his_ Blaine happy. He really liked making Blaine happy and he was starting to realize that more recently, or at least in his recent future, he had lost track of that priority and he had had Blaine fend for himself.

He felt so guilty about it now.

"I see," Kurt smiled as he looked at a copy of Batman, he then stared at the pages, "What is this?" he asked as he held the pages in his hands and smiled as he saw some clever dialogue as well as some amazing sketches of…"Nightbird," Kurt breathed out with a smile. "Did you create Nightbird, he's wonderful. I love your art skills, I'm actually a bit jealous, I'm better at fashion design than comic strips."

"Fa-Fashion De-Design?" Blaine asked as Kurt nodded with a hum, Blaine looked so happy again, "That's a-a-amazing, do you think you could umm…"

"That I could?" Kurt asked as Blaine bowed his head and started to trace circles on the table, "Wait," Kurt smiled, "Do you want to design an outfit for Nightbird together?"

Blaine's eyes lit up as Kurt smiled and he nodded, nervously gripping to his wrist, he wasn't sure where to begin or where he wanted things to lead, but he was enjoying being with Kurt, he was enjoying having someone care for him. It was so different from his father, so different from everything he knew. Someone _finally_ cared about him.

Kurt could see this by Blaine's face and his body language and he loved it. Thing was that Kurt knew _exactly_ what Nightbird looked like, he knew _exactly_ what details were on the cape and how he would have changed Nightbird and even though Blaine had seemed to create the outfit when they were broken up, Kurt had criticized little details and wanted to make improvements.

Why was Kurt always criticizing _his_ Blaine's work?

"Do you have some pencils?" Kurt asked as Blaine nodded and showed him a huge tray of them he had put behind some bricks in the wall. This was weird, did the librarians know that Blaine had kept his work here? Was there really such a problem with Blaine following this kind of passion at his home? Kurt felt sick as he imagined how Blaine's father would react to this very harmless secret life that Blaine had. It actually made him want to physically hurt someone, but that wasn't Kurt Hummel and that wasn't the Kurt he wanted, no needed, for Blaine to see.

"Here, I keep them here because I don't want them destroyed," Blaine said softly as he stared down in a depressed type of manner.

Kurt sighed, "If you wanted, I could hold onto them for you, we could meet when you wanted to and I could bring them, then we'd get to spend more time together." Blaine nodded quickly and Kurt sat down, looking at a blank sheet of paper Blaine had. Kurt took a deep breath in, "Blaine, do you want to be an artist when you're older?" he asked.

There was silence.

Blaine stood and walked over to the window, peering out at the world around him, he reminded Kurt of a caged bird wanting to fly away and escape the more torturous world. "I want to be a performer, an actor or a si-singer, I want to be in dif-dif-ferent roles. T-To do the impossible, to b-be a superhero o-or a do-doc-tor, I want to be an actor," he smiled as Kurt grinned. He was so proud of this younger Blaine.

Maybe this would be stupid, maybe it would cause for some kind of time warp to happen, but if i worked then it might make Blaine happier.

"Blaine," Kurt said in a very serious manner as Blaine flinched again, "Can I tell you a secret?" he asked as Blaine stared at him. The younger teenager quickly grasped to his wrist.

"I'm sorry," Blaine replied, tears building as Kurt shook his head and walked over to him.

"Blaine, do you believe in other universes, like other timelines?" he asked as Blaine nodded, Kurt took a deep breath in, "Please understand that I'm telling you the truth right now, please understand I'm not telling you to scare you, but I'm from the future. That's why I came to find you because I know your own future is amazing."

Blaine smiled quietly, he tilted his head and peered at Kurt from several angles, he thought Kurt was telling the truth but it seemed so strange, "I want you to prove it to me," he whispered, "but…why are you here? Is there something wrong with me?"

"Oh god, no Blaine. There's nothing wrong with you, I got in a fight with my fiancee whilst we were living together in New York and there was some weird boat ride and…no…you haven't done anything wrong," Kurt replied as Blaine looked down with a sad smile.

"You have a fiancee?"


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: **So I figured out how I wanted this story to end last night and there are going to be fifteen chapters so it's over half way done, I hope you all enjoy it when it's complete.

**Chapter Nine**

**Luckiest Man in the World**

Kurt was caught off guard by that particular question, it wasn't that he couldn't understand _why_ Blaine would be asking him such a thing, but it made him feel that both options created a lose-lose type of situation. If Kurt told the boy who was now _expecting_ him to answer the truth it might create a very uncomfortable wedge between them, maybe it would lead to Blaine thinking he was supposed to fill certain roles that he wasn't ready for yet. Then at the same time, lying to Blaine might lead to Blaine becoming disinterested in him or hurt. Maybe Blaine had developed a crush on him and to tell Blaine that he was someone else's fiancee would make things even more difficult.

Kurt Hummel needed a way out, he needed a way to say what he was thinking without it having negative consequences for him, was that really such an impossible thing to do. Kurt shifted awkwardly, he knew Blaine was waiting, but Kurt still had to figure out just _what_ he was going to do and _how_ he was going to approach the situation.

"I do," he replied awkwardly, "have a fiancee, but I can't let you know who he is _just_ now, please know that I chose to find _you_ though because in my future you are my best friend in the entire world, the man who knows me the best. The man who knows all of my insecurities and all of my passions and encourages me to live to my dreams."

Blaine smiled softly, he looked down at the table before his eyes lit up and he grinned widely.

"Are you s-saying I'm y-y-your fiancee i-in the future?" he asked trying to control his excitement, but Kurt could see how he wasn't doing a good job at holding back.

Instead Kurt smiled and nodded, "I was afraid that you would be a little bit freaked out by that because we didn't meet like this, we didn't meet when you were this young."

Blaine frowned, "But…you came back…for me?" he asked and Kurt shook his head as he sat down at the library desk.

"No, coming back here was a complete mistake, well reemitting you wasn't, but…me and the future version of you we were having an argument. I wasn't really sure why you were acting as insecure as you were and I felt determined to have more independence, I took a New York, that's where we live, ferry ride and found myself back in Lima, Ohio. I had to seek you out because you're the love of my life Blaine, or the future you, but you're still my soulmate," Kurt tried to explain as Blaine came and sat beside him.

Kurt was glad that Blaine wasn't panicking or weirded out and he was grateful that Blaine was still here. Taking this risk hadn't caused him to lose anything.

"How am I…as a person?" Blaine asked nervously.

"You're very smart, extremely smart and very talented," Kurt said softly as Blaine reached out to hold his hand and Kurt squeezed it back, "You're attending the best school for musical theatre in the country because you stood up to your father." Blaine smiled peacefully, the longing and desire shown strongly in his eyes, "More than that though, the reason I love you the most is your heart. You started attending a school called Dalton where you were the lead singer in their glee club and then you transferred to _my_ school, you were surrounded by friends who loved and cared for you and in turn you loved and cared for each of them. You would always try and prioritize others needs, especially mine, above your own because of how good helping and supporting people was to you. You still do that in the future, my future husband still does that and though I'm glad to meet you and be with you again, I do miss him, I do love him."

Blaine beamed at this and he had to ask, he knew he _had_ to ask, "Why do you love him so much?"

"Future Blaine, future you," Kurt smiled in a very genuine manner, "Is not only a selfless guy, but he has _always_ been the man who has made me feel most loved, most safe. He is the type of person who would do anything for someone else and would never want to hurt a living being, he's amazing, you're amazing."

Blaine smiled at this, Kurt could tell this was the kind of life changing revelation which could change Blaine's life, it would definitely help for Blaine to become whole and Kurt could pinpoint the time when Blaine started to have feelings for him. As weird as it was, past Blaine and future Blaine had both developed feelings that would evolve over time into love because of the song 'Blackbird' because _Kurt_ had chosen to sing that song…but there were different circumstances and Kurt hoped that this wouldn't change his relationship with the Blaine in the future. He _needed_ his relationship with the future Blaine to make him feel alive, to give him such a sense of hope, of happiness.

"Thank you, but when this happens I just know I'm going to be the luckiest man in the world," Blaine said and Kurt noticed that he wasn't stuttering. He felt so proud of this moment, so proud that he had given Blaine this. As simple as it was, this was making Blaine happy and as much as Blaine was happy, _Kurt_ was happy.

"Yeah, pretty much," Kurt grinned as the two continued to talk, Kurt extremely happy to see Blaine smiling and lighting up inside.

This entire moment felt too perfect to be true.

Blaine seemed too perfect to be true.

—-

**Five Hours Later**

Kurt was reflecting whilst sitting at his vanity about the time he had spent with Blaine today, never before had he felt that _he_ was able to provide Blaine with this start of the relationship, it had always been that he had a huge crush towards Blaine and Blaine _finally_ reciprocated in the end.

The day had been amazing and Kurt was so glad that he had been able to have those moments, so glad that Blaine had trusted him and given him the chance to provide his happiness for him.

It wasn't until he heard Burt calling him urgently, that he stood and felt his gut shrink and his stomach fold over itself. He came out of his room and up the stairs and then he saw Blaine. He was hurt, there were deep bruises on his body and dried blood and he was crying and breaking and Kurt hated this.

What had happened?

"Blaine," he said, approaching him but not knowing where he could touch him, wanting to hold him, but not knowing if he was able to do so without hurting him, "Let's go to my room and talk," he said before shooting his dad a look and Burt nodded as he understood that Kurt needed to do this.

As they got to Kurt's room, Kurt gestured for Blaine to lie down whilst he grabbed some ointment for the wounds as well as some bandages. "What happened? Can you tell me?" Kurt asked as he ran a hand very gently over Blaine's gelled hair. Blaine felt the tears flow down his face and land on Kurt's bed sheets.

"I told my dad, not about you, but about my dreams of performing in New York and about the fact that I'm gay, since things turned out okay for _your_ Blaine, I thought he would understand," he sobbed as Kurt sighed. He called me a disgusting embarrassment who was worthless in terms of family."

"You're not worthless," Kurt tried to say softly, wanting to make everything better for the past version of his fiancee, he missed his fiancee badly though and hoped he was still doing alright.

"I feel worthless." Blaine commented as Kurt sighed.

"You're imperfectly perfect to me," Kurt said before rubbing Blaine's back as he always did when they hugged, "Can I sing you a song that my fiancee and I sing together?" he had to ask and Blaine nodded.

Clearing his throat, Kurt sang very gently, "Made a wrong turn, once or twice…."

Blaine closed his eyes as he let the song comfort him, it was beautiful and it made _him_ feel beautiful too. Future Blaine was indeed a very fortunate individual.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: **So originally I thought there were going to be fifteen chapters, but I think fourteen might be a better number. That means there are even fewer chapters to go. I still hope you'll read to the end though :P

**Chapter Ten**

**Sadie Hawkins Part One**

Kurt hated this, he hated how he hadn't been able to convince Blaine to drop the idea of Sadie Hawkins, but he just hoped that since he _knew_ what would happen there would be a way of avoiding it. If they went to a small diner and Burt picked them up from there, that would be better because they wouldn't be waiting on school grounds. Maybe if Kurt tried to…no, he didn't have his license yet, or maybe Blaine and he could be in different places and then Blaine wouldn't get beaten up, but then if something happened Kurt wouldn't be there to help him.

Everything swam in Kurt's head and as he stood outside of Blaine's front door, he started to think of all the things that would go wrong. He remembered the strained smile he had had when Blaine had been so adamant to go to this dance with him. He remembered those puppy dog eyes of Blaine's when Blaine thought he didn't want to go because of dislike. He even remembered the words Blaine had said when he attempted to explain to him that since Kurt knew what would happen they could avoid it.

That had all been a week ago and no amount of convincing had convinced Blaine it was a bad idea.

Well, at least Kurt could be with him. At least Kurt could support the man he loved. There was one more thing he was worried about and that was that he had been in this time period for around two weeks and god, if he had _actually_ disappeared from the future for two weeks then future Blaine would be a wreck and Kurt didn't want to do that to him.

If Kurt was gone for too much longer then Blaine might have even been told that Kurt was probably dead.

He didn't even want to imagine the pain that Blaine would be going through if he _believed_ those words. Blaine loved him so much and Kurt hadn't shown a full reciprocation of that love despite how much he felt it and had internalized it. No, he had to calm himself down, take deep breaths and try to understand that it didn't matter as much as he worried it did.

Kurt still hated that the last thing he and future Blaine did, _his_ fiancee, was argue.

They had argued and Kurt had disappeared.

What kind of a wreck would Blaine be if that was the case? How much would Blaine blame himself, Blaine always seemed to blame himself.

Finally Blaine opened the door to his house and Kurt smiled as he saw how gorgeous this teenager was. Blaine was wearing a dark blue suit with a white shirt and black necktie. Kurt thought that Blaine was trying to be brave without a bow tie, for the past few days Blaine had always been wearing a bow tie as if it was some part of his armor. His hair gel had definitely made him seem like some kind of knight.

Kurt knew that his outfit matched Blaine's and he smiled softly as he reached out and took Blaine's hand, "My dad is going to drive us, he thinks we're friends," Kurt smiled. Actually, right now they were just friends. Kurt was trying to find a way to get back to the future and his fiancee. The two of them hadn't defined the parameters of their relationship.

That made it so they were exactly as Kurt thought, just friends.

"I'm excited, is that stupid?" Blaine asked without stuttering, staring at Kurt and blushing as Kurt shook his head.

"No," he said ignoring the tightness in his chest. He couldn't shake the fear that _something_ would happen. The very last thing he wanted was for Blaine to get hurt, but Kurt didn't know a way that he could protect him in this body. Maybe after he had developed his muscles he would have had a better chance, but right now he wasn't sure how he could do it.

"It'll be fine," Blaine tried to reassure him, but deep down Kurt knew that it wouldn't be.

He couldn't stop himself from feeling as if he was leading Blaine towards his execution.

—-

Kurt had to admit that the interior of the transformed gym looked amazing, but then Carmel had a _ton_ of fantastic facilities. There was none of the usual crumpled papers that would litter a 'decorated' hall. Everything seemed so fanciful and so upper class and Kurt would have been so happy had _this_ been his senior prom (well when he had finally attended), but this dance left a bitter taste in his mouth and he knew that people were staring at him.

He didn't even go to this school and he was certain that if he had never met up with Blaine, Blaine would have asked someone else.

He knew the dirty looks, the fear of someone being different, the fear of Blaine Anderson being a freak or a loser. Still, looking at Blaine's happy face made him feel differently. He felt so protective of his friend, so in need to look after him and to keep him happy and satisfied. For a moment Kurt didn't care about the stares, he had become used to them at McKinley. What he _did_ care about was keeping that smile on Blaine's face and giving Blaine a good night, a night that would be full of happy memories.

They had had some cookies and baby cupcakes to share and Kurt had the feeling that Blaine, who was so clueless to so much in the world, was oblivious to the stares that were directed his way. The dirty looks, the glares, the people who thought they were better than him.

Blaine just looked very happy.

Was there really a reason that Kurt needed to steal Blaine's happiness from him? Maybe things would be different this time, maybe just the _fact_ that Kurt was here and not 'the only other gay guy in the school' would create a huge shift in the timelines and Blaine wouldn't get hurt.

"Kurt," Blaine said nervously as the song turned into a slower one, they had avoided dancing so far, but Kurt could see that Blaine wanted to.

Kurt knew that Blaine wanted to be a normal teenager, just like everybody else and treated the same, but such things were impossible right? Blaine wasn't normal, he wasn't weird or a freak as other people might think, but he was amazing and special. Blaine was so beautiful on the inside and the outside and Kurt didn't want normal, he wanted the most…okay second most interesting guy in all of Ohio.

"Kurt, would you like to dance in the corner?" Blaine pointed to a very abandoned corner where there wasn't any table or special feature.

Kurt nodded slowly, "I'd love to," he said before going to the corner and he felt Blaine stand with proper posture, holding his hand out and allowing Kurt to lead. Kurt pulled him closer to him, feeling the warmth in his body and starting to dance.

_I don't want to let anyone ever ever hurt you_ he thought.

He needed to tell his fiancee that as well.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: **This is a really short chapter because I didn't have it inside of me to write anything too long. This chapter is about how _Blaine_ was beaten up after the Sadie Hawkins dance. If you can't handle violence and bloodshed I recommend you skip over it, hopefully it won't make a difference as far as the next chapter. Only three left after this.

**Chapter Eleven**

**Sadie Hawkins - Part Two**

Kurt wished he could guarantee Blaine's safety and security for ever, but there were so many factors. They were both two gay guys who were living in Ohio. Two gay guys who didn't really have any active gay role models and after Kurt left, which he undoubtedly would need to do, who knew how things would work out for _this_ Blaine.

Kurt had chosen a Polaroid camera for the night, he wanted to have physical proof of things that he and younger Blaine had been through, he wanted to be able to physically _touch_ Blaine's smiling face. There was a lot that he wanted Blaine to smile because of.

He just wanted magic in Blaine's life, he deserved that.

Nearing the chocolate fountain where Blaine was, Kurt took a dismissive look at all the happy couples and rested a hand on Blaine's shoulder, "I've just called my dad to pick us up, should we go wait outside, the air is starting to feel a bit suffocating."

Blaine tilted his head as he looked at Kurt and Kurt realized once again how beautiful Blaine had _always _been, "You'd tell me if you're not doing okay, wouldn't you?"

Kurt smiled. Why would Blaine always put Kurt first? Why were other people such a high priority for Blaine, they didn't deserve the love that Blaine gave to others, maybe he didn't even deserve that love. "No, you, or future you, once told me that you were beaten up _after_ the dance finished, if we leave when the dance is still going on, the story won't be the same."

Blaine nodded slowly, "I wish it wasn't true, but you have a point there. Let's go wait for your dad," he smiled. Kurt was hoping he wouldn't stop smiling, but sometimes fate has a funny way of pushing people to their limits.

"Thanks," Kurt breathed out in relief.

The parking lot seemed to be unbearably cold, it was as if he was walking into what he imagined Azkaban to be like and nothing felt right. It was as if Dementors were surrounding them and unsure what he was doing. Kurt reached out and took Blaine's hand, pulling him in and towards his body.

Blaine looked at him curiously, "Wh-what are you…" he started to ask before there was a cold chuckle behind them. Kurt felt something dark, it was going to happen wasn't it? This was it, this was the time when everything would go wrong. Instinctively, Kurt stepped in front of Blaine, stretching his arms out wide as he saw a group of three guys who each were bigger and stronger than the two of them.

"What have we got here?" the first guy said, his hand on a large rock that he was slamming into his open palm over and over again in an attempt to look menacing.

Kurt didn't want to admit that it was actually working.

The second guy had muscles that made him look more like an ape than a human. Kurt could guess that his brain also followed that animalistic pattern.

The third guy was very skinny and had his hand around a pocket knife. He looked threatening in a very different manner than the second guy.

"If it isn't Anderson," the guy with the rock chuckled as Kurt made sure that he was steadily in front of Blaine. He wasn't going to let anyone hurt Blaine, he wasn't going to let this boy, who had faced too much in his life already, get hurt.

The events of that traumatic day were _not_ going to happen again.

"Anderson," gorilla boy said in a mocking voice, "Did you put any glitter on your fairy wings today, you look like you did."

"Maybe we should clean it off," the first boy said.

The gorilla shoved Kurt away and the brunette fell backwards, scrambling to get up as he saw the first guy and the third guy hold Blaine as the gorilla faced him.

"I can't stand people like you queens," he said as Blaine closed his eyes and Kurt felt everything inside of him racing to push these guys away so that he wouldn't have to be witness to this.

It was at this time he felt a fourth guy grab his head and force him to watch, Kurt wasn't getting hurt by anything other than tight squeezing in a physical manner, but emotionally. They _had_ to know how emotionally damaging this was to watch with no way of stopping it. Not a single way of defending Blaine.

As punch after punch was delivered, the sounds of pain were tearing Kurt's heart to pieces.

As soon as Blaine didn't have the strength to stand, two of the guys pulled him up and then it was time for them to switch. Gorilla guy held the bloody figure of Blaine Anderson up as the guy with the rock tried to drive it into Blaine's school and the third guy pulled out a lighter. Instead of burning Blaine's skin though, he started to burn a bag of stones which, when heated, he would toss one after another onto Blaine's skin as they scorched him.

"Blaine! Stop it! Stop it!" Kurt screamed and yelled, he wanted someone to hurt _him_ because this, what they were doing it was too much. It hurt too badly. It was so much worse than any physical ache could be. How could Blaine become the strong confident man that Kurt had known him to be after this experience?

What was even more painful was that after Blaine had passed out, blood coating his skin, deep gashes in different places and obviously some breaks or at least fractures, they continued to beat him up. This was a body that had fainted, a body which had zero chance of hurting them and they were continuing to hurt them.

"Hey!" he heard a familiar voice and looked over at his father, his eyes wide as the guys started to run off. Burt kept note on who all of the boys were before going over to Blaine as Kurt shivered, his whole body trembling as he stared at the nearly unrecognizable state of his future fiancee, future husband.

He had never been in such pain before, never been unable to breathe as much as when Burt was calling the ambulance and ordering the men to get down here. Kurt was shaking, he hurt. Everything inside of him hurt and he stumbled over to where Blaine was.

He felt too nervous to touch him and so looked over him, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Blaine, I'll find a way to make this better. I'm so so ss-sorry" he choked.

He had never felt in so much pain as this. Why couldn't they hurt _him_ instead of Blaine?

The only thing that made this night worth anything were the smiling pictures of Blaine he had in his pocket, but even those he would trade in less than a heartbeat so that _this_ would have never happened.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: **So after deep thought I'm going to make this the penultimate chapter and here's why, this chapter was supposed to be Kurt reflecting on the incident and then learning that if Blaine forgets he'll be safe and the next one was with a Blaine that didn't know Kurt, but that last one was far too painful. Hope you enjoy.

**Chapter Twelve**

**Dalton Academy**

For four days Blaine had been on life support, four days and Kurt had only seen that very bruised and broken body twice. Blaine had only been conscious for one of those times and during the time that they had spoken, Blaine had only asked Kurt not to blame himself and that this was going to happen anyway. Then the worst, Blaine _thanked_ Kurt for being there for him, for being so strong and making Blaine feel loved that night.

_And I'm just scared that you'll keep changing and you'll keep getting stronger and then one day you'll wake up and realize, I don't love him anymore._

"Always," Kurt confirmed to himself as he got off the bus that had taken him to the large lake, "I'm always going to love you." He wanted to remember the direction the water had been going on the night he missed _his_ Blaine. Feel the splash of the cold water over his skin and just live in the forgetfulness of it. He would get back there and nothing would have changed, Blaine would only be taking deep breaths and going to the gym to relieve tension and he wouldn't notice that Kurt had actually been gone for weeks.

That was how it had to be didn't it? With a sad smile, Kurt walked around the pier. He wanted so badly now to go home, he missed Blaine telling him that he was in love with him, he missed all of those small intimate details that Blaine worked hard on and sometimes he would take for granted…okay a lot of the time.

Maybe the point of meeting the younger Blaine was to fully understand the man he was about to marry so he could appreciate him more, so that they could be together in a more satisfying way. Kurt wanted to repair all of the chips of their relationship and make everything so secure, living without Blaine just wasn't an option anymore.

As he continued on his walk he saw a sign with some swan peddle boats, '_Destiny Sails'_ he read and laughed over it before his mind caught onto it, this was the same name as the ferry company he had used when he had entered the fog. Was this the same company that had taken him into the past? Would a swan paddleboat take him back to his future?

The logo was the same and underneath was the line 'Time is what you choose it to be'.

Kurt looked around the small shack trying to find someone and then caught sight of a man who was fishing in the lake, "Sir," Kurt said nervously, "Do you run this stand?" he asked as the man looked at him and smiled.

"Ah, I was wondering when I would see you on this side of the river," he joked as Kurt frowned, "You took a ferry in New York didn't you?" he asked as Kurt frowned, "If you hop back onto one of these swan boats then you could most likely get back home," he said as Kurt smiled. He reached into his pocket and was about to take out his wallet, but no. Even if he was returning to _his_ Blaine, there was still a very insecure Blaine who needed to know that he was leaving and there was something that Kurt needed to give to his parents. His father had been distant, but even he was distraught about what had happened and felt that he was responsible for it. Despite overhearing the apologies to his wife, Kurt couldn't forgive him. It was never right to take ones anger out on their child.

"I need to…" Kurt started, but the man looked back at him.

"If you leave the memories of all who you have touched will turn into blurred colors and lines, dreams in another way. Oh, they will still exist but they won't be conscious and as for this dance that I know you've been to…well, he'll have to start imagining another person so that he doesn't lapse into insanity. There is only one item that you can give to him that will _not_ be changed and that is the souvenir from this trip, the one item that you can give to anyone."

Kurt looked at the man, so everything of Blaine's that was important and that Kurt had given him would be gone, the songs, the creation of Nightbird's costume, the love of hair gel and bow ties, friendship, love, security. He nodded and then went into his bag and pulled out something that wasn't relevant to him but it was the thing that Blaine needed the most. A brochure about Dalton Academy.

He had always known that Blaine would be the most happy here, he had always known that this was the place where Blaine's life started to turn around and even though it wasn't a photograph of Blaine's smiling face he would gain confidence through this, courage, and Kurt…

Kurt turned to the man, "Will I remember this?" he asked as the man shook his head

"You will just believe you are getting over a very bad cold," he replied as Kurt handed him the Dalton brochure which had a picture of The Warblers inside. "You can take all the time you need but you will return three days later already in the time you share with your fiancee and…"

"He needs me to come back," Kurt whispered as he watched the man work his magic on the brochure and Kurt placed it back in his bag. If this was all that he could give to Blaine it would be enough.

He said a quick goodbye knowing that he'd be back before too long, right now though he wanted to see Blaine.

—-

Blaine was awake when Kurt came back to the hospital and Kurt was scared about how he would feel to know that everything would change. Was it even worth telling him? No, if anything he and Blaine always shared the truth with one another, even though it would hurt both of them, Kurt didn't want to lie to the boy who would become the man he loved so deeply and sometimes so painfully.

"I have to go back to where I'm from," Kurt replied, "and at that time you'll forget who I am and all of our memories and I'll forget who you are, we will meet again but I want you to have courage and believe in something more powerful than hope, believe that we are soulmates."

Kurt took the Dalton brochure out of his bag alongside something else he had made for Blaine, a gum wrapper ring with Juicy Fruit wrappers that was similar to the one that Blaine had given to him in the future. Their first Christmas as a couple had been beautiful and Kurt knew he wanted many _many_ more Christmases to come.

"Here," he said handing the ring to Blaine who smiled with a quick laugh, "This is the place where you need to go, there will be safety and protection for you, you'll be able to sing, and most importantly, this is where I remember meeting you," Kurt replied as he sat next to Blaine and wrapped an arm around Blaine's back.

He knew Blaine wanted to protest but was to weak to do so.

"I really do love you already, I know I'll feel it in my heart," Blaine said, not stuttering at all and Kurt smiled lightly before standing and facing Blaine.

"I've got one last song for you," he said as Blaine tilted his head to the side.

"I love it when you sing," he whispered as Kurt opened his mouth, trying to understand that these were the last few moments of being with Blaine before he paddled into the night and back into the world in which he belonged.

"_The power lines went out and I am all alone__  
__but I don't really care at all not answering my phone."_

Somehow this made the line 'erase the memory of your face' so much more powerful for both of them.

This wasn't goodbye, Kurt would never be saying a proper goodbye to his soulmate.


	13. Chapter 13 - The End

**AN: **This is kind of a closing chapter so it'll probably be much shorter. I really loved writing this fic the whole way through and I hope you enjoyed it too, I'd love some feedback on what you liked about it and please check out my profile to see what other fanfics I'm currently writing and if any appeal to you

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Return**

It really had been four days, Kurt had realized that as he felt the ferry stop at the harbor and read the sign which showed the date, it had been four days and no one knew where Kurt had been. Kurt didn't even know where he had been. His phone had died from having no battery, but he felt safe on betting that it would have near-exploded anyway from the amount of phone calls.

He looked under his coat to find that he was wearing different clothes than he had been before, in fact the clothes he wore now looked like more stylish garments he wore when on that swan boat. He didn't know how he was going to explain this, but he knew where he needed to head first. Hopefully the man he was destined for would understand.

It didn't take long before he was back in Bushwick, of course the running and Olympic style hurdling did account for that and Kurt instantly ran to where the loft was, he couldn't help himself. He just wanted to hold Blaine and be held by Blaine and apologize. Tell the man he loved more than anyone that he was okay, that he was sorry, that…that…he finally understood.

As he opened the door of the Bushwick loft he looked around to see food wrappers and empty tissue boxes and their scrapbooks and Blaine on the sofa with his coat still on, his bushy hair a disaster, a light beard already starting to grow, his shoes still on, and such a pained and mournful look on his face as if everything important in his life had been stolen.

Kurt stood quietly for a moment, hearing the menu sounds of The Notebook playing over and over and seeing Blaine holding the Kurt puppet tightly, Bruce resting on top of him.

"Blaine…" he said as he took another breath in, coming closer to the man who was sobbing. He was breaking and Kurt just wanted to hold him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "Please, please come back. Please, I'll do anything, I love you. I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry,"

Kurt frowned before coming up to the front of Blaine, he waited there as his heart broke once again as he looked at the terrified and pained man who appeared absolutely exhausted. Kurt reached out and held Blaine's hand softly, "Blaine?" he had to ask again as the other man started to wake up.

"K-K-Kurt?" Blaine stuttered as he tried to wake up, as soon as Blaine saw him he sat up and with the puppet between them, Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt and held him tightly, sobbing into his shoulder. "Kurt! Oh my god! Oh my god!" he yelled as he wrapped his arms tighter around the brunette and started kissing him everywhere he could.

"You're back, you're back…please don't leave, don't leave me again, please never leave again," he begged, "I was…I was so scared that something had…had ha-happened to you. You're my life Kurt."

Kurt smiled patiently, maybe before he would have made a comment on how desperate and clingy Blaine was, but after seeing him at the scariest stages of his life (or so far at least) he didn't have it in him to be annoyed anymore. He hugged Blaine back and started meeting his kisses, tears in his own eyes.

"I'm sorry too and no I won't, honeybee," he whispered as he slowly guided Blaine back and placed one hand on either one of Blaine's cheeks as the two shared eye contact, "I should have never left, I should have never fought with you about something so trivial. I'm so sorry and I don't intend to ever ever leave again," he promised.

Blaine nodded as he sorted himself out, he took a couple of steps backwards, "You'll tell me what happened?" he asked as Kurt took a deep breath and nodded without saying anything else, "I…I…" Blaine looked around, "I want to make you cookies, you love chocolate chip cookies."

"Sounds delicious," Kurt smiled as he kissed Blaine again and he could see how much Blaine trusted him and how much Blaine loved him. He would always joke about how Blaine was the luckiest guy in the world, but maybe _he_ was because _he_ was with Blaine.

As Kurt went to the bedroom to take his coat off, the room was a mess because of Blaine's depression but Kurt wouldn't say a word, he found something strange in his pocket. He took out two pieces of paper that were folded around a card. He sat down on the bed before realizing that the two pages were from the Nightbird comic strip that Blaine had been drawing and the photo was of them at the Sadie Hawkins dance.

So it hadn't been a dream, it had been a miracle.

_My soul knew something that my body and my mind didn't know. It knew that our hands were meant to hold each other fearlessly and forever. Which is why it's never really felt like I was getting to know you, it's always felt like I was remembering you from something. As if in every lifetime you and I have ever lived we've chosen to come back and find each other and fall in love all over again, over and over again for all eternity. And I just feel so lucky that I've found you so soon in this lifetime because all I want to do, all I've ever wanted to do, is spend my life loving you. So, Kurt Hummel, my amazing friend, my one true love, Will you marry me?_


End file.
